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What constitutes a NASCAR fan? Is it someone whose wardrobe consists of 75% or more of driver/team/manufacturer t-shirts? Is there a minimum requirement of driver/team/manufacturer paraphernalia that must be semi-permanent to permanently attached to some visible part of the vehicle used as the primary form of transportation within a family unit?

Although I make my home in the South, I’m amused at how many acquaintances show no outward signs of fanaticism, but could talk your ear clean off about their favorite driver if you gave them a chance. Seriously.

Of course, there could be extenuating circumstances – the person may be required to wear a uniform for their job. Perhaps their employer doesn’t allow the show of “flair” (see Office Space). One thing is for sure – if an closet NASCAR fan spies any hint of driver devotion on your person, in your purse, on/in your car et al., there is no telling when the conversation will end.

Typically, the dialogue will begin with one of the following:

“Oh my gosh, you aren’t a are you?” (This can either be stated sarcastically or in fellowship)

“How ‘bout that ?”

“What happened to your boy on Sunday?”

Outward appearances aside, one thing rings true – no matter where I go, I seem to find at least one fan to chat with about the most recent race, the pros and cons of the Car of Today, or the latest stupid thing that Kyle Bush has done…

Exactly what is NASCAR thinking? I completely understand and agree with the penalties imposed on JGR and the crew members, but the drivers? Come on, people! Maybe if you allow us to smoke what you are apparently smoking it will make sense. What do they expect the drivers to do, tear the car apart and inspect before they get into it to drive to make sure their team isn’t cheating? Perhaps they should write clauses in their contracts that if the team is caught cheating and there is no possible way the driver could be involved, then they get some sort of monetary compensation to offset whatever penalties that NASCAR hands down? Have you guys seen Smoke lately? Do you think he can actually reach the foot pedal with his hand from a sitting position? I don’t think he could reach it if he went into the cockpit head first!

I wonder how little Joey is enjoying his swim with the big fishes? He goes out, drives in a race and BAM! Instant probation. Wow. Good goin, NASCAR – way to throw your weight around.

I know I’m supposed to be working. I would like to finish reviewing a huge requirements document before I leave for Richmond tonight. I’m too distracted.

My suitcase is packed full and resting in the opening to my borrowed cubicle as an announcement to all who pass, “Yes, that’s right! TinaRenee is going somewhere!” Or, it could simply be that I put it in my walking path so that I wouldn’t forget it when my co-worker drives me to the airport. You would think a chick who is pushing 40 would remember something that important…

Thankfully, the only thing I’ve forgotten (that I’ve noticed so far) is to change the battery on my Sirius Stiletto to the high capacity one. Worst case scenario is that I will run out of juice while listening to old episodes of Smoke n Yoke on the plane ride. I have plenty of recharge options once I get there.

I already miss my dog. At least this time I won’t be traveling to a race after having one put down. That was torture. I don’t remember the trip there at all – the flight connections – nothing. I felt incomprehensibly guilty for purposely taking the life of my best friend. Eventually the time will come for Bruiser too and although I can’t say I’ll be prepared, I do hope that the circumstances will be different.

Since I’ve been wearing an arm brace for a few days, I’m beginning to get my life back. Typing and using a mouse was proving more difficult with each day. With its introduction I’ve been able to do yard work, play with Bruiser, finish folding a load of clothes in one sitting, and sleep through the night! Luckily, the one thing I didn’t need the brace to do was to watch racing. Of course, I would have done something about the arm sooner had that been a problem.

It’s been a couple of weeks since Bristol and I’ve read a wide variety of articles and opinions about said race (why do images of huge curly ‘fros come to mind after I typed that?). My knee-jerk reaction was to declare the race utterly boring and completely ruined since the new surface was put in place. However, after the Cali race I’m convinced that the problem with Bristol wasn’t the track – it was ESPN. They are the ones who made it a snoozer. A few laps into the Cali race, I turned down the TV volume and turned on the MRN broadcast. I believe those guys (and women) could make paint drying sound exciting. Just goes to show, it’s all in the presentation. I can’t really be counted on to give an accurate view ABC’s job with the Richmond race because I won’t be home to watch it!

Being a Smoke fan does have its drawbacks. Fellow office worker NASCAR fans are always on the lookout for something to pick at me about. Admittedly, pulling for #20 does give them a broad range of ammunition. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel it is my duty to give these losers something to do to pass the time until 5pm. (Ok, so – they aren’t all losers, but I have to take my shots where I can!)

The latest jab has been about the change of auto manufacturer announcement at Gibbs. To my co-workers: sorry! You’d have better luck teasing me about Tony’s cousin Big Foot than worry me with Toyota vs. Chevy. As I’ve mentioned before, I love my VW Beetle so much I would marry it if I could. Until VW gets involved in NASCAR (now THAT is funny, I don’t care who you are…), you’re not gonna pull me into that debate!

Hmm – what other racing related rants have I saved up? Junior. I do not care what number Junior has on the side of his car. I do not care what sponsor is slapped all over the sides and hood. I do not care that he doesn’t make the chase this year. I only hope that he is content enough with where he is going that he can focus on winning next season.

Shrub. Not exactly a fan of his. Don’t plan on being a fan just because he is Tony’s teammate. Perhaps he will mature a little and I’ll grow to appreciate his talents. Anything is possible.

Comments that the Chase is already set before we head into Richmond. So what? I’m still going. If that keeps people at home or stops people from watching on TV, who cares? A race is a race all on it’s little lonesome. There is plenty of excitement to be experienced without this goofy excuse for a playoff system. (of course, I should shamelessly say that I’ll be part of the post race festivities for the 12 drivers who are already locked in the chase! Woo hoo!!!!)

Scrolling through Jayski for some more rant fodder: Teresa Earnhardt. People hate her and probably perform voo doo rituals decrying her “insanity” for “pushing” Junior out the door. She is constantly berated for not being “hands-on” enough. Personally, I wish Junior wasn’t leaving DEI and that he would be driving the 8 next year. However, I do not think Teresa is anything more than a shrewd business person. The fact that she IS a she brings about a lot of opinions that wouldn’t be spoken if she were a HE. Its obvious she isn’t out to win popularity contests – and neither was Dale Sr.

Montreal: WTF? I did get a good laugh at the color ad in “Scene” which said, “Congrats Robby Gordon on your win in Montreal”.

The heat in California: Ask Junior how hot it was at Graceland during his visit.

I leave you with my fav pic from the past week:

I should know better – the “live” radio show aired last night. Of course, they will replay tonight during it’s normal time. They change the schedule more often than Britney Spears changes personalities.

Can someone kick the ONMC in the ass? The VIP schedule is still showing California info for the Richmond dates. Look out Virginia, I’ll be there next week!!!

Pay per view Late Model dirt track race.

Some of the best racing talent in the world.

All for charity.

No stupid commercials.

I LOVE IT!

(great to see Bill climb out of his car unscathed!)

Every May, Memphis hosts a month-long celebration called Memphis in May – complete with the world’s famous Memphis in May BBQ contest.

Every May, it rains for 7/8 of the entire month.

Usually I do not care – I outgrew the entire scene not long after I graduated college.

However…

THIS May is different. The World of Outlaws is returning to West Memphis after a 26 year absence. The big race is this Saturday and *I* will be in attendance!

IT BETTER NOT RAIN!!!